This guy… can you even believe him? I mean, he has the power to do absolutely anything he damn well pleases, and what does he do? He decides to create humankind, open the door for the concept of evil via A TREE, allows evil to gain a foothold, and sentence every human in the history of the universe to death as though he had no idea that any of this would happen, and no power to change his own rules. This real pal, this total chum, though, does offer a caveat – so take heart! For just four easy payments of $19.99 and your pledge to worship him with every breath you take, he’ll save you! How, you ask? Oh, by taking you to heaven, his home, where you’ll get to keep worshipping him! For eternity! OMG! Literal heaven. What a dream. So dreamy. Such a dreamboat. Dreamy beanies. Cool cool cool.
Now, hear me out. I was raised in the Christian church, which means I was made to memorize every book of the Bible in sequential order, as well as some of the most noteworthy verses throughout; so of course I can recite the flagship verse. That’s John 3:16, for all you heathens who don’t know. It says:
For god so loved the world that he condemned every infant born unto this world to death because a woman ate a piece of fruit. (NIV)
…What, that’s not it? *Fleabag voice* Oh, fuck off. That’s the gist of it, anyway.
I’ll never quite be able to wrap my mind around the fact that billions of people now and over the course of history have gleefully and gratefully subscribed to this idea—MYSELF INCLUDED—that there exists a loving god who created us on purpose, who loves us as a father loves his children, but who won’t go out of his way to save us from the things he’s fated us to if we don’t follow his commands. He really made it so that the onus is on LITERAL CHILDREN to get old enough to learn exactly what wretched, broken sinners they are, so that they can find and devote their lives to the one who holds their eternal salvation in his hands. And it’s literally THE EXACT SAME GUY who did the condemning in the first place. I—that’s…I mean…if that’s not the world’s most glaring neon red flag, then I don’t know what is.
Another iteration of me would’ve sincerely hoped that there actually is a god; the genuinely loving god I was raised to believe in and give my life to. Because I craved goodness, even when I felt certain that it didn’t exist. Because I needed it to. Because, in truth, perhaps we all do.
But now? No.
Christians, I’ve seen what your god has done. I’ve seen what he has let happen. And I don’t want anything to do with a divine being who could sit idly by, much like a sad parent who lets their teenagers run amok because those kids are entitled to autonomy and living life and learning lessons. Like a parent who wishes they could intervene and save their children from harm, but who doesn’t. Can’t. Won’t. Whatever. It’s only their wellbeing and eternal fate; it’s fine.
This is the god who foresaw the Holocaust, and let it happen. Stillbirth, and let it happen. Sandy Hook and Uvalde, and let them happen. Depression, disease, Dahmer. And let it all happen.
Never mind, though, because the Lord provided you with the $50 you needed to pay last month’s cell phone bill, and he orchestrated the weather on your wedding day so that it wouldn’t rain. All that other stuff is just fluff. The Lord’s ways are a mystery, after all. Who are we to question his ways?
You get to worship the deity you choose, or, rather, the one that you’ve been told chose you. That’s your business, your special interest, your purported eternal salvation. But you know what? If that’s the god who consented to the existence of heartbreak, grief, death, AND Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, then that’s the god who can kiss my perfect ass.
If your god exists, then in the perfectly splenetic words of Dril, I will face him and walk backwards into hell.
My father always says: "If there is a god, that God created a world where the rule of nature is kill others to survive. I don't want to follow someone like that."