I came across a TikTok the other day—I’m not going to post it, but here is an excellent stitching of it—wherein we see a white woman earnestly attempt to cosplay an intersectional feminist and ally to the trans community. In this TikTok, the woman is talking about the darling Dylan Mulvaney—a trans woman who can’t go a single day without effortlessly making this world a brighter place—assuring the viewer that Dylan doesn’t bother her, and that in fact she actually thinks Dylan is really cute and fun. (She’s not wrong.) She wants trans women to be happy!
But—surprise!—there’s a caveat. And this is the part where her cosplay attempt falls apart. This woman says that while she does want trans women to be happy, she simply cannot rest well knowing that by their very nature, trans women undermine the womanhood of cisgender women. To be specific, she says that trans women “diminish who [we] are”. As though the only way for a trans woman to truly thrive is to suck the womanhood right out of a cis woman like a leech to skin…and clutch your pearls, ladies, because that’s just simply neither right, nor fair!
In her milquetoast attempt to show inclusivity and support, she fails miserably. That's what’ll happen when a wolf dons sheep’s clothing, of course. Try as you might with the incredibly realistic-looking wool suit you bought on Etsy and with the perfected bleat of a sheep roaming the Scottish hillside under the noonday sun, your teeth are still showing. And those are just clearly wolf teeth, babe. Plain as day. Those canines are sharp.
Friends, loved ones, my sisters in Christ, may I have a quick word? I want you to understand that the existence of one human being does not undermine the existence of another. I want to believe that deep down, you know this. Any single random stranger roaming the planet has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on your identity or your place in this world. No threat, no mind.
Much as a Cocker Spaniel on the boulevard doth not invalidate an Alaskan Malamute on the sidewalk, the idea that someone’s womanhood would or could be undercut by that of another woman is abjectly absurd. Do you copy? Trans women diminishing the validity of cisgender women just simply isn’t a thing.
This particular woman on TikTok – who I’m using as an example simply because she lent herself to this – boasts having birthed four children and thusly spent a cumulative eight years breastfeeding. She uses this as her set of credentials met in order to secure her own status as woman, and simultaneously as the reasoning for why Dylan Mulvaney doesn’t actually qualify. This woman somehow manages to invalidate childless women and Dylan Mulvaney herself in one fell swoop, all while using Dylan’s pronouns correctly. It’s quite spectacular, really. She’s a walking conundrum. She’s an oversized, oddly angular sheep with the wrong teeth.
The logic is abjectly unhinged—do you see this? Requiring a woman to meet a certain set of credentials in order that you yourself might validate their identity is nothing more than ego dripping in misogyny, and purporting this idea that trans women merely existing diminishes the womanhood of cis women communicates clearly, albeit unintentionally, that womanhood is an intrinsically fragile thing.
So to all my transphobic girly girls, I ask you: If your womanhood is so precarious, so delicate, and so vulnerable that its very foundation can be cracked and ultimately eroded by trans women simply minding their own damn business, then I’m inclined to encourage you to look inward and really ask yourself why; but reasoning aside, bestie, with a foundation that intrinsically weak, dare I suggest that perhaps you are not necessarily a woman at all?
…And if that’s the case, then hey, new trans bestie! Welcome to the LGBTQIA+ community! We welcome you with love and open arms here.
Bless.
So well said, Sandy!!